1
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Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org

2
00:00:05,360 --> 00:00:09,220
Which of these pictures
do you like better?

3
00:00:12,530 --> 00:00:15,070
Um,the one on the left?

4
00:00:15,090 --> 00:00:16,570
So the wacky one.

5
00:00:16,580 --> 00:00:18,630
Sure. What's the picture for?

6
00:00:18,640 --> 00:00:24,530
I'm giving the keynote address at the company's six
sigma retreat to move forward in croton-on-hudson.

7
00:00:24,830 --> 00:00:26,380
Is that like a corporate retreat?

8
00:00:26,410 --> 00:00:30,670
I used to have to perform at those all the time
back when jenna and i were in that improv troupe.

9
00:00:30,680 --> 00:00:35,140
The audience suggestion is
sling blade and oprah on a date.

10
00:00:37,950 --> 00:00:41,430
I sure do like them french fried paters.

11
00:00:41,440 --> 00:00:43,660
no,you don't,oprah.

12
00:00:44,090 --> 00:00:46,180
Jenna is not a great improviser.

13
00:00:46,220 --> 00:00:52,330
To be honest,lemon,uh, i'm a little
apprehensive about going to this thing.

14
00:00:52,350 --> 00:00:56,980
I haven't seen a lot of these people
since the ceo debacle and my...

15
00:00:57,010 --> 00:00:59,150
Time in the... Bush administration.

16
00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:02,700
Yeah,jack,you never really told
me what happened in washington.

17
00:01:04,740 --> 00:01:06,930
Please be gentle.

18
00:01:07,790 --> 00:01:10,950
The point is a lot has happened
to me since the retreat last year.

19
00:01:10,960 --> 00:01:13,970
So i hope that when i return, they
still think of me as the same guy.

20
00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:16,000
- You've got camp jitters.
- What?

21
00:01:16,010 --> 00:01:18,660
You haven't seen your little
business camp friends in a year,

22
00:01:18,690 --> 00:01:21,040
And now you're afraid everybody's
gonna think you got weird.

23
00:01:21,060 --> 00:01:25,460
Uh,lemon,the retreat to move forward is a
global meeting of ge's best and brightest.

24
00:01:25,470 --> 00:01:27,030
Careers are made there.

25
00:01:27,050 --> 00:01:30,020
It would be helpful to have
someone with me who's got my back.

26
00:01:30,040 --> 00:01:32,220
Ugh,no. Don't make me
be your camp friend.

27
00:01:32,230 --> 00:01:33,770
I hate those corporate things.

28
00:01:33,800 --> 00:01:35,780
Bunch of drunk people
talking about synergy.

29
00:01:35,810 --> 00:01:37,940
First of all, never badmouth synergy.

30
00:01:37,970 --> 00:01:40,270
And i'm asking you
to do this as a favor.

31
00:01:40,290 --> 00:01:42,320
Oh,fine! I'll go. For you.

32
00:01:42,330 --> 00:01:44,290
- As long as this place has a spa...
- They do.

33
00:01:44,300 --> 00:01:46,770
Where you are allowed
to eat in the sauna.

34
00:01:46,800 --> 00:01:49,350
Because at some places, they get mad.

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-=http://sfile.ydy.com=-
proudly presents

36
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-=http://sfile.ydy.com=-
sync:������

37
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30 Rock
Season03 Episode09

38
00:02:12,080 --> 00:02:15,580
Writers,we need to gather
for an actor announcement.

39
00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:20,220
As you probably know, i have been
cast in an upcoming feature film.

40
00:02:20,260 --> 00:02:22,800
Is it a movie where you swap
brains with your granddaughter?

41
00:02:22,820 --> 00:02:24,400
No,frank.

42
00:02:24,430 --> 00:02:27,090
I will be plinocgk janis joplin.

43
00:02:27,120 --> 00:02:29,540
Or depending on how some
legal matters pan out,

44
00:02:29,550 --> 00:02:35,480
A janis joplin-type character
named janet jopler or janie jimplin.

45
00:02:35,530 --> 00:02:36,800
Why are you telling us this?

46
00:02:36,830 --> 00:02:39,420
Because i will be employing
the "method" method of acting.

47
00:02:39,440 --> 00:02:42,870
So for the next few weeks, i will
only reon to "janis" or "miss joplin."

48
00:02:42,890 --> 00:02:44,250
If you're nasty.

49
00:02:44,270 --> 00:02:48,530
If anyone has anything to say to
me,jenna, now would be your last chance.

50
00:02:48,560 --> 00:02:49,700
Oh,your hands are weird.

51
00:02:49,710 --> 00:02:50,760
I don't think you went to high school.

52
00:02:50,780 --> 00:02:52,080
I'm not busy friday. I just said i was.

53
00:02:52,090 --> 00:02:53,760
Okay. I am janis now.

54
00:02:53,770 --> 00:02:57,090
You are all saying those
things to janis joplin.

55
00:02:57,440 --> 00:02:59,690
The veil is drawn.

56
00:03:00,060 --> 00:03:03,320
You should do your janis
research on wikipedia.

57
00:03:03,330 --> 00:03:05,740
It's online, so anyone can update it.

58
00:03:05,770 --> 00:03:09,780
You know,'cause people are finding out
new things about janis joplin every day.

59
00:03:09,790 --> 00:03:11,080
- Really?
- Yeah.

60
00:03:11,090 --> 00:03:14,650
Oh,thank you,frank. Wikipedia.

61
00:03:15,120 --> 00:03:17,730
I'm gonna check that out.

62
00:03:20,370 --> 00:03:23,490
Okay,i'm on wikipedia. Edit page.

63
00:03:23,500 --> 00:03:29,450
Did you know that janis joplin speed
walked everywhere and was afraid of toilets?

64
00:03:29,460 --> 00:03:31,270
I ve heard that. Yes.

65
00:03:31,280 --> 00:03:33,560
Was she really?

66
00:03:34,710 --> 00:03:37,580
So how am i lookin', dr. Spaceman?

67
00:03:37,590 --> 00:03:41,870
Well,tracy,i-i don't
know how to say this.

68
00:03:41,900 --> 00:03:45,390
Dee-ay-buh-tees.

69
00:03:45,410 --> 00:03:47,890
- Diabetes?
- That's it.

70
00:03:48,190 --> 00:03:50,040
Well,now we know what
we're dealing with.

71
00:03:50,050 --> 00:03:53,110
Unless you make some
serious lifestyle changes,

72
00:03:53,130 --> 00:03:56,400
You're in danger of becoming diabetic.

73
00:03:56,410 --> 00:03:58,600
So how bad is diabetes, really?

74
00:03:58,610 --> 00:03:59,730
It's quite serious.

75
00:03:59,750 --> 00:04:02,370
If left untreated,
you could lose a foot.

76
00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:05,930
Could i replace it with a wheel,
like rosie fromthe jetsons?

77
00:04:05,960 --> 00:04:07,650
I suppose.

78
00:04:07,660 --> 00:04:11,380
But then you'd have to
register as a motor vehicle.

79
00:04:16,960 --> 00:04:20,010
Well,buddy,here we go. Bases
loaded. Bottom of thninth.

80
00:04:20,020 --> 00:04:22,820
Are you gonna step up? Oh,yeah.

81
00:04:22,830 --> 00:04:26,270
Because it's winning time,
you magnificent son of a bitch!

82
00:04:28,580 --> 00:04:30,150
You go in there and show them.

83
00:04:30,170 --> 00:04:32,560
Make mommy proud of her big
boy because he's the best.

84
00:04:32,590 --> 00:04:35,260
Just do it. Is it in you? I'm loving it!

85
00:04:35,270 --> 00:04:37,370
Are you okay?

86
00:04:37,390 --> 00:04:39,620
Oh,i'm sorry, i was just,uh...

87
00:04:39,650 --> 00:04:41,640
Were you psyching
yourself up in the mirror?

88
00:04:41,650 --> 00:04:45,350
I do that sometimes before i go to a
party where i don't know a lot of people.

89
00:04:45,360 --> 00:04:46,890
Stop sweating,you idiot.

90
00:04:46,930 --> 00:04:49,420
What is wrong with
you, you stupid bitch!

91
00:04:50,430 --> 00:04:51,820
I wish you hadn't sn that.

92
00:04:51,830 --> 00:04:54,280
It's okay. Now you're ready to
get in there. You're psyched up.

93
00:04:54,290 --> 00:04:56,900
You got your camp buddy. Just do it.

94
00:04:59,590 --> 00:05:02,360
You are a lion. Take what's yours.

95
00:05:11,410 --> 00:05:14,370
There they are the
six sigmas themselves.

96
00:05:14,390 --> 00:05:15,250
They're dudes?

97
00:05:15,270 --> 00:05:19,200
Each of them embodies a pillar of
the six sigma business philosophy.

98
00:05:19,210 --> 00:05:20,430
Teamwork.

99
00:05:20,440 --> 00:05:21,700
Insight.

100
00:05:21,710 --> 00:05:22,970
Brutality.

101
00:05:22,980 --> 00:05:24,110
Male enhancement.

102
00:05:24,120 --> 00:05:25,770
Handshakefulness.

103
00:05:25,780 --> 00:05:27,490
And play hard.

104
00:05:27,500 --> 00:05:29,510
Wish me luck.

105
00:05:31,990 --> 00:05:35,700
Men,if i'd known your wives were
alone, i would've stayed in new york.

106
00:05:39,700 --> 00:05:42,070
Jack donaghy. We've been waiting
all day for you to show up.

107
00:05:42,080 --> 00:05:45,800
- Uh,this is my friend-- - guys over in
war machines have been dying to see you.

108
00:05:48,220 --> 00:05:51,750
The finulus data sugst r ocwe should be
leveraging disintermediation paradigms.

109
00:05:51,770 --> 00:05:56,390
Well,obviously, the finular analysis will concur
with any synergized mindshare classifications.

110
00:05:56,420 --> 00:05:58,230
Bladorian frankles.

111
00:05:58,580 --> 00:05:59,740
I'm liz.

112
00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:04,400
I'm prashant. This is joan.
We're m-7s. What level are you?

113
00:06:04,410 --> 00:06:08,030
Ohno i'm just here with
my friend. Or i was.

114
00:06:08,040 --> 00:06:10,460
So you're like a g or an h?

115
00:06:10,480 --> 00:06:14,180
No,i'm not part of
this. I'm not any letter.

116
00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:16,990
J?

117
00:06:22,340 --> 00:06:24,590
Morning,mr. Jordan. What's
that on your foot,sir?

118
00:06:24,600 --> 00:06:28,440
It's a practice wheel for when
i lose my foot to diabetes.

119
00:06:28,450 --> 00:06:30,850
You can't eat candy
if you have diabetes.

120
00:06:30,860 --> 00:06:33,570
There's no link between
diabetes and diet.

121
00:06:33,590 --> 00:06:35,420
That's a white myth,ken.

122
00:06:35,450 --> 00:06:37,660
Like larry bird or colorado.

123
00:06:37,700 --> 00:06:38,950
It's not a myth.

124
00:06:38,960 --> 00:06:40,360
Gentlemen, back me up here.

125
00:06:40,390 --> 00:06:41,100
I don't know.

126
00:06:41,130 --> 00:06:45,810
My dad had diabetes, and he ate whatever he
wanted until he died on the day i was born.

127
00:06:45,830 --> 00:06:47,590
How do you not see the connection?

128
00:06:47,610 --> 00:06:51,260
You know, there's a conspiracy
theory that after the civil war,

129
00:06:51,300 --> 00:06:54,050
the u.s.government spread false
information about diabetes--

130
00:06:54,060 --> 00:06:56,870
- Word. - To keep the newly-freed
slaves sluggish and docile.

131
00:06:56,880 --> 00:06:58,840
- And i heard that from yusef jackson.
- Which is why to this day,

132
00:06:58,850 --> 00:07:03,620
most african americans don't understand that
diabetes is caused by sleeping on your back.

133
00:07:05,220 --> 00:07:06,510
I don't think that's right.

134
00:07:06,520 --> 00:07:08,330
Diabetes and diet.

135
00:07:08,340 --> 00:07:12,500
Next you'll be telling me that leasi
a sports car is a bad investment!

136
00:07:16,620 --> 00:07:19,640
Hey,nice suit, squaresville.
Where's the bank?

137
00:07:19,650 --> 00:07:22,360
What can i do for you miss... Jimplin?

138
00:07:22,370 --> 00:07:26,140
Well,according to my wikipedia
page, i'm gonna need some crrjuice,

139
00:07:26,180 --> 00:07:32,180
Buttermilk,and tequila to make my signature
janis joplin cocktail, the frankschlong.

140
00:07:35,730 --> 00:07:37,850
Good grief.

141
00:07:37,860 --> 00:07:39,520
Hey,jack, where you been hiding?

142
00:07:39,530 --> 00:07:41,600
Oh,lemon,there you are.
I'm sorry i got distracted.

143
00:07:41,610 --> 00:07:44,130
Yeah. Se your camp buddy.

144
00:07:44,140 --> 00:07:47,610
I know. It's going great. I'm actually
joining the six sigmas for lunch.

145
00:07:47,620 --> 00:07:51,140
Oh,okay. I like lunch.

146
00:07:51,430 --> 00:07:55,920
Right. Yes. Well... Join us.

147
00:07:56,450 --> 00:07:58,090
Okay.

148
00:07:59,740 --> 00:08:01,100
What is this?

149
00:08:01,130 --> 00:08:04,880
It's l.u.n.c.h.lego utilization
for negating cris hierarchies.

150
00:08:04,910 --> 00:08:06,530
It's a competive teambuilding exercise

151
00:08:06,540 --> 00:08:09,740
where one person directs his teammates
in the construction of a lego model

152
00:08:09,750 --> 00:08:10,830
That only he can see.

153
00:08:10,850 --> 00:08:14,030
Lemon,why don't you join team donaghy?

154
00:08:14,060 --> 00:08:15,840
We'll win this thing, and
then we'll go to c.l.a.s.

155
00:08:15,860 --> 00:08:17,140
I don't want to go to a class.

156
00:08:17,150 --> 00:08:20,980
No,lemon,c.l.a.s. It's an acronym for
"consuming lunch and simple socializing."

157
00:08:20,990 --> 00:08:23,900
now that just seems
intentionally confusing.

158
00:08:33,020 --> 00:08:35,010
K.

159
00:08:36,290 --> 00:08:38,250
What's up with this disgusting stuff?

160
00:08:38,280 --> 00:08:42,890
Mr. Jordan, i've seen too many folks back
home die of diabetes and go-kart accidents

161
00:08:42,900 --> 00:08:45,460
to sit idly By while
you ruin your health.

162
00:08:45,480 --> 00:08:47,080
You need teat better.

163
00:08:47,100 --> 00:08:50,910
N- o-e.
No. E.

164
00:08:51,270 --> 00:08:54,470
Okay,mr. Jordan. Whatever you like.

165
00:08:54,480 --> 00:08:58,210
I just hope don't you get
eaten by the hill witch.

166
00:08:58,370 --> 00:08:59,580
Hmm? What's that?

167
00:08:59,590 --> 00:09:00,810
I didn't say anything.

168
00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:04,720
Oh,you want to hear
tell of the hill witch?

169
00:09:05,970 --> 00:09:10,880
My meemaw saw her once taking away a
boy who wouldn't eat his vegetables.

170
00:09:10,890 --> 00:09:15,130
She's a shriveled
crone, 1,000 years old.

171
00:09:15,150 --> 00:09:21,790
One look turns you to stone, and
then she gorges your living brain.

172
00:09:22,710 --> 00:09:25,070
Through the stone?

173
00:09:26,580 --> 00:09:28,430
Really,ken? That was your plan.

174
00:09:28,440 --> 00:09:30,050
Doubt me if you dare.

175
00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:33,290
But beware the omens of her coming.

176
00:09:33,320 --> 00:09:35,290
Crops will fail.

177
00:09:35,320 --> 00:09:37,580
Animals will run wild.

178
00:09:37,620 --> 00:09:41,610
And my page desk will
be turned sideways.

179
00:09:47,490 --> 00:09:50,250
frank,you have got to check out maroney.

180
00:09:50,270 --> 00:09:52,760
Ur wikipedia prank is inspired.

181
00:09:54,350 --> 00:09:56,100
Okay,janis did it.

182
00:09:56,130 --> 00:09:58,320
You can do it.

183
00:10:02,010 --> 00:10:05,460
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna eat this cat.

184
00:10:05,470 --> 00:10:08,590
Janis,don't! That's
fromalf. Alf ate cats.

185
00:10:08,600 --> 00:10:09,380
What?

186
00:10:09,390 --> 00:10:11,080
I put all that stuff on wikipedia.

187
00:10:11,110 --> 00:10:12,160
None of it's true.

188
00:10:12,180 --> 00:10:13,910
W-- why would
you do that?

189
00:10:13,920 --> 00:10:16,530
I'm sorry. I didn't know you
were gonna take it so seriously.

190
00:10:16,540 --> 00:10:18,820
Well,of course i'm taking it seriously.

191
00:10:18,850 --> 00:10:20,960
This is my chance to win an oscar.

192
00:10:20,990 --> 00:10:25,140
The academy loves dead singers and
the handicapped, and janis was both.

193
00:10:25,170 --> 00:10:27,470
No,she wasn't. Her
legs bent the right way.

194
00:10:27,480 --> 00:10:28,200
What?

195
00:10:28,210 --> 00:10:30,590
I speed walked home on these.

196
00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:32,530
You pathetic load!

197
00:10:32,550 --> 00:10:34,950
You mess with me because
your life is miserable.

198
00:10:34,990 --> 00:10:38,180
Because you're disgusting!

199
00:10:39,220 --> 00:10:40,150
What?

200
00:10:40,160 --> 00:10:42,730
Nothing. Just,you're
yellin' at me. You're a mess.

201
00:10:42,740 --> 00:10:46,540
You're joplined out on tequila.
It's kinda workin' for me.

202
00:10:46,550 --> 00:10:49,210
Are you turned on right
now? What is wrong with you?

203
00:10:49,220 --> 00:10:51,280
I've got a thing for damaged goods.

204
00:10:51,300 --> 00:10:57,030
But if you can get this raw
in the movie, you are gonna win

205
00:10:57,040 --> 00:10:58,980
really?

206
00:11:08,340 --> 00:11:09,620
Two minutes.

207
00:11:09,640 --> 00:11:12,750
Don't stop talking,
jack. Always be talking!

208
00:11:12,760 --> 00:11:16,020
Hands in pockets,joan.
Prashant,your job is to watch joan.

209
00:11:18,530 --> 00:11:20,080
Say something,haircut.

210
00:11:20,110 --> 00:11:22,270
Well,you can't have more wheels
on one side than the other.

211
00:11:22,290 --> 00:11:24,070
Uh-doyee!

212
00:11:24,080 --> 00:11:26,100
It goes on top. It's a smokestack.

213
00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:30,760
Yeah!

214
00:11:31,080 --> 00:11:33,450
Suck it,nerds!

215
00:11:33,460 --> 00:11:35,470
- What happened to you, donaghy?
- What do you mean?

216
00:11:35,480 --> 00:11:37,500
That woman is a subordinate of yours.

217
00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:39,460
Her behavior is totally inappropriate.

218
00:11:39,470 --> 00:11:42,060
Familiarity. Nicknameification.

219
00:11:42,070 --> 00:11:43,390
And you seem to encourage it.

220
00:11:43,410 --> 00:11:45,630
Well,lemon is unique.

221
00:11:45,640 --> 00:11:46,900
Okay.

222
00:11:46,910 --> 00:11:49,490
But the old jack donaghy
wouldn't have stood for that.

223
00:11:51,450 --> 00:11:55,020
Sorry! I dropped it when i
was pretending it was my penis!

224
00:11:55,320 --> 00:11:57,540
Robot penis.

225
00:11:59,650 --> 00:12:02,030
We won!

226
00:12:06,810 --> 00:12:07,970
Oh,hey,jenna.

227
00:12:07,990 --> 00:12:09,700
Um,about last night...

228
00:12:09,710 --> 00:12:10,890
Oh,god.

229
00:12:10,900 --> 00:12:13,320
I just want to make sure you
haven't told anyone what happened.

230
00:12:13,350 --> 00:12:15,600
I have a lot of irons
in the fire around he.

231
00:12:15,620 --> 00:12:17,160
You'll keep it to yourself, right?

232
00:12:17,190 --> 00:12:21,100
Oh,yes. Of course. Thank you.

233
00:12:21,110 --> 00:12:23,060
Yeah.

234
00:12:23,070 --> 00:12:26,430
Wait. I'm sorry. You don't
want people to know about us?

235
00:12:26,440 --> 00:12:29,000
Oh,god,no. I mean, it's so embarrassing.

236
00:12:29,010 --> 00:12:31,700
Yeah,for me. You should
want to brag about it.

237
00:12:31,710 --> 00:12:35,280
Don't worry about that. Last
night was stupid. Stupid,frank!

238
00:12:35,290 --> 00:12:38,360
No,last night was the best thing
that's ever happened to you.

239
00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:40,350
It was my mistake, not yours.

240
00:12:40,390 --> 00:12:43,260
I'm the one who had to take the
silkwood shower this morning.

241
00:12:43,280 --> 00:12:45,960
Okay,fine. Whatever. But
you'll be cool about this?

242
00:12:45,970 --> 00:12:49,200
You... The one... Who cool... Should be.

243
00:12:49,210 --> 00:12:51,320
Oh,all right. Cool.

244
00:12:51,670 --> 00:12:56,140
Wha-- what the
hell was that?

245
00:13:00,120 --> 00:13:02,260
First of all, ere's an
omelet bar downstairs.

246
00:13:02,280 --> 00:13:04,950
So you should probably
go get yourself an omelet.

247
00:13:04,980 --> 00:13:07,140
Second,i want to see if your
room is bigger than mine.

248
00:13:07,170 --> 00:13:10,330
Oh,you have a sitting area? You jag.

249
00:13:10,340 --> 00:13:12,500
Uh,please come in.

250
00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:21,040
Lemon,i give u a certain
amount of leeway at work.

251
00:13:21,080 --> 00:13:25,500
But while we're here, i need
you to behave appropriately.

252
00:13:25,530 --> 00:13:26,250
What are you talking about?

253
00:13:26,270 --> 00:13:29,100
Well,the,uh,nicknames, the
arm punching, the familiarity.

254
00:13:29,130 --> 00:13:32,240
The way you were behaving at l.u.n.c.h.

255
00:13:32,250 --> 00:13:35,970
You can't say "uh-doyee"
to me in mixed company.

256
00:13:36,770 --> 00:13:38,150
Okay.

257
00:13:38,180 --> 00:13:42,430
So when i helped you win that lego thing--
when i thought we were having fun together,

258
00:13:42,460 --> 00:13:45,190
I was actually embarrassing
you, is that right,jack?

259
00:13:45,240 --> 00:13:48,360
While we're here,i need
you to call me mr. Donaghy.

260
00:13:48,370 --> 00:13:49,730
I get it.

261
00:13:49,760 --> 00:13:51,350
You broughme here in case you need me.

262
00:13:51,370 --> 00:13:53,430
But now that you have your
cool six sigma friends,

263
00:13:53,450 --> 00:13:56,250
I can go back to the lake with
the fat kids and make bracelets.

264
00:13:56,280 --> 00:13:58,910
Lemon,you know how important this
is to me. I've got my speech tonight.

265
00:13:58,920 --> 00:14:00,580
Yeah,don't worry. I get boundaries.

266
00:14:00,590 --> 00:14:04,010
Ooh,sorry,liz,my parent's basement
only has room for five sleeping bags.

267
00:14:04,030 --> 00:14:07,650
Or,no,i'll come over after prom
and we'll make nachos together.

268
00:14:07,670 --> 00:14:08,950
Lemon,this is a part of our problem.

269
00:14:08,970 --> 00:14:12,750
I give you a simple managerial
suggestion in a professional context,

270
00:14:12,780 --> 00:14:15,100
And i get back the second
half of a judy blume novel.

271
00:14:15,110 --> 00:14:16,500
Whatever. This place is dumb.

272
00:14:16,510 --> 00:14:18,000
We're gonna be back at work tomorrow.

273
00:14:18,020 --> 00:14:19,910
Let's not make this bigger than it is.

274
00:14:19,920 --> 00:14:21,880
Too late. Friendship over.

275
00:14:21,890 --> 00:14:24,040
Good lor

276
00:14:29,050 --> 00:14:31,130
like a waitress.

277
00:14:36,360 --> 00:14:40,280
Mr. Jordan,i am begging you,
as a friend,to eat better.

278
00:14:40,300 --> 00:14:42,640
I just don't want to see
anything bad happen to you.

279
00:14:42,650 --> 00:14:43,810
I'm fine,ken.

280
00:14:43,820 --> 00:14:47,420
I have so much energy,
my hand keeps dancin'.

281
00:14:47,430 --> 00:14:50,860
I just don't know what has
to happen for you to start--

282
00:14:50,900 --> 00:14:53,340
oh,no!The signs!

283
00:14:53,350 --> 00:14:55,100
Myesk is sideways!

284
00:14:55,130 --> 00:14:57,140
The hill witch approaches.

285
00:15:01,700 --> 00:15:05,290
Dudes,the craziest thing
happened to me last night.

286
00:15:05,310 --> 00:15:06,560
You're not gonna believe it.

287
00:15:06,570 --> 00:15:10,120
But i found the secret skate
park ingrand theft auto iv!

288
00:15:10,130 --> 00:15:11,270
Ce.

289
00:15:11,280 --> 00:15:14,140
Are you seriously
talking about video games?

290
00:15:14,170 --> 00:15:16,420
Oh,hey,jenna. What's up?

291
00:15:16,430 --> 00:15:19,710
How dare you? How dare
you be cool about this.

292
00:15:19,720 --> 00:15:22,710
Frank and i hooked up last night,okay?

293
00:15:22,720 --> 00:15:24,720
Oh,stop acting like you're ashamed.

294
00:15:24,740 --> 00:15:27,930
I'm the one who's ashamed.
It dgusting, right?

295
00:15:27,940 --> 00:15:30,280
I slutted it up on this dirtbag.

296
00:15:30,300 --> 00:15:31,570
It is disgusting.

297
00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:32,850
Thank you,lutz.

298
00:15:32,880 --> 00:15:34,000
Jenna,this is a mistake.

299
00:15:34,010 --> 00:15:36,710
No. Last night was a mistake.

300
00:15:36,720 --> 00:15:40,220
This is a victory for
hot women everywhere.

301
00:15:49,720 --> 00:15:51,170
So what are we doin' after this?

302
00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:53,580
Uh,prashant and i have plans.

303
00:15:53,620 --> 00:15:55,060
Did you guys hook up?

304
00:15:55,090 --> 00:15:58,940
What happens in croton-on-hudson
stays in croton-on-hudson.

305
00:15:58,950 --> 00:16:03,150
Uh,mi i do still have a
seat at my table up front.

306
00:16:03,180 --> 00:16:06,280
No,thank you, mr.
Donaghy. I'm happier here.

307
00:16:06,290 --> 00:16:08,610
- Prashant,that is my foot.
- My wrongness.

308
00:16:08,620 --> 00:16:10,000
'Scuse me,mr. Donaghy.

309
00:16:10,020 --> 00:16:12,580
I need to put a microphone
on you for your speech.

310
00:16:17,140 --> 00:16:19,790
I can't believe you don't
want to sit with jack donaghy.

311
00:16:19,820 --> 00:16:22,590
He's not that great.
You guys are my friends.

312
00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:25,630
We should start calling
ourselves the three musketeers.

313
00:16:25,640 --> 00:16:27,680
Not.

314
00:16:29,110 --> 00:16:30,420
That's a good one, prashant.

315
00:16:30,430 --> 00:16:32,180
So i heard about you and frank.

316
00:16:32,190 --> 00:16:34,330
Ugh,i know. It's hard to believe.

317
00:16:34,340 --> 00:16:37,350
Now dog the bounty hunter's the
second grossest guy i've been with.

318
00:16:37,370 --> 00:16:39,380
You shouldn't have done
that with frank,jenna.

319
00:16:39,400 --> 00:16:40,680
Tell me about it.

320
00:16:40,710 --> 00:16:43,440
Because he'smine!

321
00:16:43,460 --> 00:16:45,140
Wait,what are you doing?

322
00:16:45,150 --> 00:16:47,540
Why is my scalp burning more than usual?

323
00:16:47,560 --> 00:16:49,260
I told you not to tell anyone!

324
00:16:49,270 --> 00:16:51,150
Ow,what are you doing to my hair?

325
00:16:51,170 --> 00:16:54,130
You stay away from mfrocankk!

326
00:16:55,570 --> 00:16:57,550
Who is with my frank?

327
00:16:57,570 --> 00:17:01,190
Katie. Euzebia. Please,let me explain.

328
00:17:06,170 --> 00:17:08,650
What is this?

329
00:17:09,360 --> 00:17:12,240
Eat your vegetables.

330
00:17:13,420 --> 00:17:16,220
Damn,k,that is weak!

331
00:17:16,240 --> 00:17:17,700
I'm a
40-year-old man!

332
00:17:17,740 --> 00:17:20,060
You think i'm gonna be scared into
eating some stuff because of some--

333
00:17:20,070 --> 00:17:23,810
Look at me! I'm a monster!

334
00:17:26,110 --> 00:17:28,120
Oh,hill witch, i renounce everything!

335
00:17:28,140 --> 00:17:30,250
Cover your brain!

336
00:17:37,270 --> 00:17:38,800
Oh,come on,guys.

337
00:17:38,830 --> 00:17:40,770
Okay,uh,your microphone is all set.

338
00:17:40,790 --> 00:17:43,180
I'll come back right before
your speech to turn it on.

339
00:17:43,200 --> 00:17:45,090
And thanks for being so cool with me.

340
00:17:45,120 --> 00:17:46,390
This is my first day.

341
00:17:46,410 --> 00:17:48,410
No problem.

342
00:17:57,420 --> 00:18:02,710
Well,buddy,here we go. Bottom
of the ninth. Bases loaded.

343
00:18:02,720 --> 00:18:06,010
Oh,yeah. It's winning time,
you magnificent son of a bitch!

344
00:18:06,020 --> 00:18:06,930
What is that?

345
00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:08,290
It's his psych-up speech.

346
00:18:08,300 --> 00:18:10,280
He doesn't know his microphone is on.

347
00:18:10,300 --> 00:18:11,840
- We gotta tell him.
- Why would we?

348
00:18:11,850 --> 00:18:15,670
When a big one falls,
four littlones move up.

349
00:18:15,680 --> 00:18:18,930
You go in there and show
those turds who's boss.

350
00:18:19,350 --> 00:18:22,540
Make mommy proud of her big
boy because he's the best!

351
00:18:22,550 --> 00:18:24,880
Just do it. Is it in you? I'm loving it!

352
00:18:24,890 --> 00:18:27,160
Just don't say your name, jack.
Please don't say your name.

353
00:18:27,170 --> 00:18:31,200
You are jack donaghy.
Titan. Maverick. Lover.

354
00:18:31,210 --> 00:18:33,560
'Scuse me. Where is the bathroom?

355
00:18:37,100 --> 00:18:39,290
Your mic is on in the ballroom.

356
00:18:39,300 --> 00:18:41,080
What?

357
00:18:41,110 --> 00:18:43,680
- How much did they hear?
- Everything.

358
00:18:45,560 --> 00:18:47,410
Oh,god,i'm ruined.

359
00:18:47,920 --> 00:18:49,510
I'm never gonna live this down.

360
00:18:49,540 --> 00:18:51,030
They're gonna talk about this forever.

361
00:18:51,040 --> 00:18:54,690
No,no,no. I'll help
you. It's gonna be okay.

362
00:18:56,650 --> 00:18:58,560
I got nothin'.

363
00:19:01,460 --> 00:19:03,330
What's up,s sigma?

364
00:19:03,350 --> 00:19:07,080
It's liz lemon from the
entertainment division.

365
00:19:07,110 --> 00:19:09,950
I just fooled y'all with
my jack donaghy impression,

366
00:19:09,980 --> 00:19:13,910
Where i say crazy things
that he would never say.

367
00:19:13,940 --> 00:19:17,100
So let's maximize our
fun quadrant tonight.

368
00:19:17,120 --> 00:19:20,660
Shout out any other prsion you want
to hear and i-- i'll do it. I dare ya.

369
00:19:20,670 --> 00:19:23,640
- Do jack donaghy again!
- No. What else?

370
00:19:23,650 --> 00:19:25,960
- How about cher? Do cher!
- Al pacino!

371
00:19:25,970 --> 00:19:28,290
I believe i heard sling blade!

372
00:19:28,300 --> 00:19:31,400
Mm,i love them french fried pataters.

373
00:19:31,410 --> 00:19:32,420
Get off!

374
00:19:32,440 --> 00:19:34,810
What's that? Mrs.
Cunningm fromhappy days?

375
00:19:34,820 --> 00:19:38,210
Oh,howard. Oh,arthur.

376
00:19:40,340 --> 00:19:41,890
What's your name,guy?

377
00:19:41,910 --> 00:19:42,620
Dave.

378
00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:46,360
And what's the craziest thing that's
happened to you this weekend,dave?

379
00:19:46,370 --> 00:19:49,570
Hearing jack donaghy
talk on that microphone.

380
00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:56,170
Well,uh,not anymore,
'cause check this out.

381
00:19:56,180 --> 00:19:59,000
* Everybody dance now *

382
00:20:06,510 --> 00:20:07,930
lemon,that was heroic.

383
00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:09,630
And i think it actually worked.

384
00:20:09,660 --> 00:20:14,400
A lot of people from the conference emailed me to
ask if i was there when the bra lady went crazy.

385
00:20:14,810 --> 00:20:18,670
They completely forgot
about me, so thank you.

386
00:20:18,680 --> 00:20:19,790
Sure.

387
00:20:19,820 --> 00:20:24,570
And i think it goes without saying that
you are banned from any future retreats

388
00:20:26,730 --> 00:20:28,620
i can't believe you did that for me.

389
00:20:28,650 --> 00:20:30,950
That's what friends do, jack.

390
00:20:31,760 --> 00:20:33,650
Uh-doyee!

391
00:00:00,500 --> 00:00:02,000
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392
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:37,053
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393
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